Catastrophic consequences of running JavaScript

Wow, I had no idea simply running JavaScript could be this bad. I'm really happy now to be running the excellent NoScript Firefox extension.

First, take a look at HasTheLargeHadronColliderDestroyedTheWordYet.com. DO NOT VISIT THIS PAGE WITH A JAVASCRIPT-ENABLED BROWSER!

Notice that the page displays a simple "Nope", indicating that the world has not yet ended. Whew!

Next, view the source for that page. You'll see the following snippet of code:

<script type="text/javascript">
if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == "undefined")) {
document.write("YUP.");
} else {
document.write("NOPE.");
}
</script>
<noscript>NOPE.</noscript>

Let me walk you through that code... First, if you have JavaScript enabled, everything between <script> and </script> is executed, which comes out to be a single if statement, where one of the possible outcomes is that the world, in fact, has been destroyed.

On the other hand, if your browser doesn't support JavaScript, the page simply renders whatever is inside the <noscript> stanza, which always evaluates to "NOPE."

In other words, with JavaScript enabled, there's a small (but finite) chance that the world could end! However, with no JavaScript, there's zero chance. Therefore, JavaScript is demonstrably dangerous! The risk far outweighs any temporary benefit we could gain from this technology!

Do not tempt fate! Disable JavaScript everywhere IMMEDIATELY! You have been warned!